The epic adventures of lord Voldemort and the death eaters
by PureEternity
Summary: Lord Voldemort has to play host to his granddaughter Alessandra for the remainder of the holidays but will this be easy? i think not! with Riddle manor being overrun by incredibly stupid death eaters nothing is going to go to plan!


**The epic adventures of Lord Voldemort and the death eaters!**

**Chapter 1: Lord Voldemorts grand daughter**

Voldemort was really angry, so angry at what he came home to when he left to collect the Death eater minivan after its annual M.O.T, 10% off! Voldemort stood rooted to the ground struggling to comprehend what was happening.

Barty crouch Jr was running around the room, an angry Bellatrix following close behind, covered in what looked to be like custard. Rodolphus and Rabastan were tackling each other on the floor like muggles while Dolohov, Avery, McNair and Yaxley cheer them on in their under wear. Lucius could be heard from the kitchen singing kelise's 'milkshake', Wormtail was cowering under the coffee table. Travers was trying to mend a watch with much difficulty, Snape was casually reading a dark arts book, totally blocking out the scene before him.

Voldemort was absolutely disgusted, he was only gone for an hour and they were already running amok, Voldemort now regretted the day that he allowed some of the death eaters to live in Riddle manor with him.

"What is going on in here?" Voldemort screeched, causing everyone to stop what they were doing, they were all shocked to see the Dark lord glaring at them, and they didn't even hear him come in!

"My Lord I've finished icing my fairy cakes! Would you like one?" Lucius asked exiting the kitchen with a hot pink apron on, he cowered when he saw Voldemorts _very_ scary glare. Everyone was silent as Voldemort thought of what to say.

"Snape, what happened?" Voldemort asked softly, turning to the only mature Death eater. Snape gave a cough and looked around the room: "Well My lord, Barty decided to get Bellatrix back about what she said about his mother and Rodolphus and Rabastan thought it would be fun to be barbaric and fight like a pair of muggles for the entertainment of others," Snape drawled smirking at every ones shocked expressions. The whole room was now silent but it didn't last long when the telephone rang. Everyone exchanged curious glances, Travers thought that they should install a telephone, he loves muggle inventions. Everyone looked at Travers expectantly. "My lord, you have to answer it," Travers advised the Dark lord, taking off his glasses and wiping them on his jacket.

The Dark Lord stood aghast, _how_ was he supposed to answer it? Voldemort edged towards the ringing contraption and took it uncertainly from the holder; he looked to Travers again who pointed to his ear silently. The dark lord placed the phone to his right ear as everyone watched curiously.

"Hello?" Voldemort asked suspiciously into the phone. "Dad, how are you?" came the voice of his grown daughter Isabella. "Isabella?" Voldemort asked, happy to hear his daughters' voice.

"Yes, it's me Dad! Look, I have a favour to ask you," Isabella replied. Voldemort scanned the room for every ones confused gazes before he replied uncertainly: "Anything my dear," Snape raised a curious eyebrow.

"Well, you know your granddaughter Alessandra? I thought that maybe she could stay with you and the death eaters for the remainder of the holidays as I've got to work and I think that you two might benefit from this," Isabella explained carefully.

Voldemort was lost for words he hadn't seen his granddaughter since his downfall. Voldemort scanned the room again to his concerned death eaters. He didn't know how to respond, sure it will be lovely to have his granddaughter stay for the rest of the holidays but the house was now a mess!

"Well...of course," Voldemort said into the phone. "That's amazing! We'll be there in twenty minutes I'll see you soon Dad!" Isabella gushes, hanging up the phone. "Wait!" Voldemort said but he was too late.

Voldemort carefully placed the phone back into its holder. They only had twenty minutes until his granddaughter he hadn't seen in years will be coming to stay and the house was now in disarray!

"My lord, what's wrong?" Snape asked

"My Lord, who was that?" Bellatrix asked

"Would you like a fairy cake my lord?" Lucius asked causing everyone to turn and look at him. Including the Dark lord, who was glaring at Lucius.

"Everyone, my Daughter Isabella called and she is bringing my Granddaughter Alessandra around to stay for the rest of the holidays, and we've only got twenty minutes!" Voldemort announced as the Death eaters eyes widened in interest.

"Is she hot my lord?" Dolohov asked. "Dolohov this isn't the time for those sorts of questions!" Voldemort replied exasperatedly.

"Now, Lucius, clean the kitchen and start preparing dinner, I want to make a good impression on my Heir!" Voldemort said looking at Lucius who saluted and hurried to the kitchen.

"McNair, Avery, Yaxley and Dolohov, get dressed and when you're finished start clearing up your mess!" Voldemort demanded, as said Death eaters trudged up to their respected rooms.

"Bellatrix get cleaned up, Barty start cleaning, Travers stop trying to mend that thing and help Lucius in the kitchen! Snape make sure everyone is helping" Voldemort exclaimed, the Death eaters started to go their separate ways.

"Rodolphus, you're going to clean the bathroom and Rabastan I want you to set up the guest room for my Heir! Come on Chop Chop!" Voldemort said clearly clapping his hands. Rabastan snickered tightly at his brothers' misfortune.

"But my lord..." Rodolphus whined.

"Now," Voldemort replied dangerously as Rodolphus unwillingly trudged up the stairs with Rabastan.

"My lord, what shall I do?" Wormtail squeaked from beside the Dark lord

Voldemort turned to the midget: "Wormtail, you oath! Don't just stand there! Go and help Lucius and Travers in the kitchen!" Voldemort shrieked, kicking the fool for good measure.

Wormtail yelped, clinging onto his shin whilst hurrying to the kitchen.

McNair, Yaxley and Avery came down and started to take out their wands. "No! Do it properly!" Voldemort exclaimed as the death eaters groaned and ran to the cleaning cupboard.

They returned and started to clean when Voldemort noticed something. "Where's Dolohov?" The three death eaters exchanged glances when Yaxley piped up: "He's choosing which tie he should wear My lord,"

Voldemort growled and pushed past the three, up to Dolohov's room. On the way Rabastan came out of the guest room and rushed to the linen closet. "Hello My lord!" he said hurriedly flinging open the door and taking out the linen. Voldemort didn't reply, he banged on Dolohov's door.

A confused Dolohov emerged from the room holding up a hot pink tie and red tie. "Dolohov. Downstairs, now!" Voldemort seethed.

"M-my Lord which tie?" Dolohov asked cowering slightly under the Dark lords' glare. "I suggest the pink one! Now, down stairs!" Voldemort sighed as Dolohov's face broke into a smirk.

Voldemort huffed as Dolohov ran into the bathroom to check his hair before running down the stairs.

"Dolohov!" Rodolphus shouted from the bathroom waving a toilet brush in fury, he spotted the Dark lord and laughed nervously before turning back to the toilet.

"My lord, do I look okay?" Bellatrix asked twirling around in her black robes. Voldemort grunted and headed down stairs.

As the Dark lord reached the bottom of the stairs the unmistakable smell of smoke drifted towards him and at that moment the smoke alarm went off followed by a scream from Lucius.

"What's going on?" Voldemort shouted, striding past a surprised Avery who was wiping the picture frames.

Voldemort strode into the smoky kitchen, to see Lucius holding a lasagne dish that was burnt to a crisp, Travers was fiddling with the oven and Wormtail was cowering in the corner, Snape standing menacingly over him.

"m-my Lord the lasagne, it's ruined!" Lucius wailed, his face contorting in sadness. Voldemort placed his face in his hands in exasperation.

Then the door bell rang...

**Cliff hanger! Hee hee so evil!**

**I hope you have enjoyed this and please review!**


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